i dunno what's the big fuss all about.
yes. i did leave u in the hope of finding someone else. i am not looking for someone to marry. i am just finding someone to spend the next part of my life together. whether this guy (or the next guy. or the next next guy.) will the guy 'forever', we will know in years to come. it really doesn't matter to me right now.
yes. i did have hao gan for him while leaving u.
but it was only hao gan. any likings were developed after the break up because i know that i didn't know him well in the past. don't we all have hao gans? don't we all know that if hao gans don't work out, things naturally don't work out?
during the past few months, i already asked u to give me more of yourself. i've always felt that u treated me the same as all your other friends. i asked for more affection, more reassurance, to make me feel like i'm in a relationship with u. but did u? u know what ur attitude was for that period of time. i don't wish to repeat myself to you over and over again. we do things differently and that's the biggest problem.
i don't feel the need to defend myself but i really dislike it when you continuously mention pple from 'my side'. i never even bother to say any part of my story.
i left the relationship because i do not see a future brewing, given both our characters. since months ago, i've already told friends that i want to leave the relationship because i don't really a future with you.
this is the truth. accept it.
and i vaguely remember that there was once, i told u, someone asked me whether i see myself marrying u, i said i don't know. and u got disappointed because u actually see us getting married. i said i don't know about the future.
u gave me too much freedom to the point that u don't control anything at all. maybe u loved me and trusted me so much and believed that i'll take care of myself, by myself. but i don't want this kind of relationship. i want to feel protected. i want to know that someone cares.
like i've told u, my friends don't even find the breakup shocking. we really took a different approach to this relationship and i'm sorry to see that this is the outcome to this very difference.
(blogging about this is so difficult. i am trying very hard to sound composed and at the same time bring the message across. you know i never liked to broadcast too much of my feelings. really. i don't even know whether you'll see this because i haven't updated in soooo long.)
