Saturday, December 26, 2009
Lalala.
What's there not to love about this moment? I don't want to care about the future. All I know is I am happy with everything now. :D
Sunday, December 20, 2009
work what work?
I more or less know what I am looking for in my future career. So in few months time I hope the suitable job appears before my eyes so I don't have to go the wrong way. Will talk about it another time. :)
ageing
I was showering and I suddenly realise entering the new year means a great deal to me.
I will be 23 but what have I achieved so far? I never felt this way when I was about to turn 22. To me 22 still sounded fun but next year, 23, graduating from school would mean I officially have to start growing up and begin to make life-altering decisions.
23 sounds so... odd (pun intended).
Enter 2010 and I would be entering a new stage in life... which is still a mystery.
Good luck to me!
I will be 23 but what have I achieved so far? I never felt this way when I was about to turn 22. To me 22 still sounded fun but next year, 23, graduating from school would mean I officially have to start growing up and begin to make life-altering decisions.
23 sounds so... odd (pun intended).
Enter 2010 and I would be entering a new stage in life... which is still a mystery.
Good luck to me!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
One more month.
Just this time next month, I'll be starting my attachment! Wheeeee. Hope everything goes well.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
After exams
Spending my weekends at home except going out for a birthday tonight and dinner with family tomorrow. Other people make so much plans after exams to go out and play everyday but I choose to stay at home, sleep and rest. I wasn't even excited about completing my exams in the first place. Not shiok at all! Probably because I was too exhausted during my exam period. I am still exhausted now. Come to think of it, although I did not study very hard during exams, I spent all my time getting stressed up over exams because I felt so guilty. And on days I went out to study, I was out for as long as 15 hours a day. I am so tired. SLEEP TIME!
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Tooted.
My exams are officially over and I officially have one tooth less.
Extraction of teeth is not new to me (plucked 4 out for braces) but the pain is still unbearable for me. So weak... I don't know how to survive extracting the other 3. Well, I've never been a big fan of pain, especially those around my head, ie migraine ear nose eyes mouth. They scare me too much.
I'm still freaking out from the pain but somehow knowing he is there for me really soothed much of my pain. He helped me so much today I appreciate it sooooo much.
Tomorrow's gonna be a better day. I can finally start reading my book(s)!
Extraction of teeth is not new to me (plucked 4 out for braces) but the pain is still unbearable for me. So weak... I don't know how to survive extracting the other 3. Well, I've never been a big fan of pain, especially those around my head, ie migraine ear nose eyes mouth. They scare me too much.
I'm still freaking out from the pain but somehow knowing he is there for me really soothed much of my pain. He helped me so much today I appreciate it sooooo much.
Tomorrow's gonna be a better day. I can finally start reading my book(s)!
Thursday, November 26, 2009
New level of boredom.
Now I am no longer that interested in blog-hopping, online shopping, watching video online and facebooking.
Now what I do online is... I don't know. Just stone. Typing mini entries sometimes here, sometimes there, sometimes the other side, sometimes in my computer, sometimes writing a little into my notebook. Basically I now enjoy communicating with myself.
I know it might be a little early for me but I am now surfing jobsites and looking for potential jobs I might want in the future. In a nutshell, I am feeling kind of lost in the direction of my life. Having no idea of what my life will turn out in the future is a pain, considering the fact that I always like to plan my life wayyyy ahead. :(
Now what I do online is... I don't know. Just stone. Typing mini entries sometimes here, sometimes there, sometimes the other side, sometimes in my computer, sometimes writing a little into my notebook. Basically I now enjoy communicating with myself.
I know it might be a little early for me but I am now surfing jobsites and looking for potential jobs I might want in the future. In a nutshell, I am feeling kind of lost in the direction of my life. Having no idea of what my life will turn out in the future is a pain, considering the fact that I always like to plan my life wayyyy ahead. :(
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Wisdomless tooth.
The stupid tooth. Is. Causing. Me. So much pain!!! I have no mood to study at all. It's slowly killing me. I think i should extract it tomorrow if not it'll just eat my mood for 422 anyway. Argh!!
(it's good though.. At least i have an excuse if I don't do well for my paper tmr. Hehe.)
(it's good though.. At least i have an excuse if I don't do well for my paper tmr. Hehe.)
Monday, November 23, 2009
One paper down!
No more Organic Chem for the rest of my life!!!! Wheeeee!
Next up, Bio Chem!! 42 hours more!
My teeth is aching. I need to get it out soon! Can't wait for exams to be over so I can pluck them all out!
Next up, Bio Chem!! 42 hours more!
My teeth is aching. I need to get it out soon! Can't wait for exams to be over so I can pluck them all out!
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Want.
I never realise I can want something this badly. It wasn't even this bad 4 years ago! I know I most probably won't get it but just a small amount of hope keeps me going. My hopes are not high so I won't be devastated if I don't get it but I hate not being able to stop myself from thinking! I hate to be unable to be in control of my mind... Now, focus on my 423 paper tmr!! *focus!!*
Saturday, November 14, 2009
seventeen.
seventeen more days to the last paper of my undergrad life. then i'm going to say bye to exams and hello to attachment.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
emptily happy.
Why is it sometimes the happier I get, the emptier I feel?
Is there such thing as being happily empty, or emptily happy?
What am I feeling now?
Is there such thing as being happily empty, or emptily happy?
What am I feeling now?
Exams
It's just like that. Exams are around the corner and there I am, looking for more platforms to distract myself.
So I started looking at facebook more than the past few weeks.
Started to look at twitter and 'follow' people. link
Started online-shopping again. (always happens during exam period. the only difference is probably that I am more broke than I have ever been.)
And started updating blog again.
Started eating like I'm so stressed-up-but-actually-not-that-stressed-up.
Started doing anything but studying, just to divert my attention so that I don't have to end up studying what I do not like.
So I started looking at facebook more than the past few weeks.
Started to look at twitter and 'follow' people. link
Started online-shopping again. (always happens during exam period. the only difference is probably that I am more broke than I have ever been.)
And started updating blog again.
Started eating like I'm so stressed-up-but-actually-not-that-stressed-up.
Started doing anything but studying, just to divert my attention so that I don't have to end up studying what I do not like.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
just a message
i dunno what's the big fuss all about.
yes. i did leave u in the hope of finding someone else. i am not looking for someone to marry. i am just finding someone to spend the next part of my life together. whether this guy (or the next guy. or the next next guy.) will the guy 'forever', we will know in years to come. it really doesn't matter to me right now.
yes. i did have hao gan for him while leaving u.
but it was only hao gan. any likings were developed after the break up because i know that i didn't know him well in the past. don't we all have hao gans? don't we all know that if hao gans don't work out, things naturally don't work out?
during the past few months, i already asked u to give me more of yourself. i've always felt that u treated me the same as all your other friends. i asked for more affection, more reassurance, to make me feel like i'm in a relationship with u. but did u? u know what ur attitude was for that period of time. i don't wish to repeat myself to you over and over again. we do things differently and that's the biggest problem.
i don't feel the need to defend myself but i really dislike it when you continuously mention pple from 'my side'. i never even bother to say any part of my story.
i left the relationship because i do not see a future brewing, given both our characters. since months ago, i've already told friends that i want to leave the relationship because i don't really a future with you.
this is the truth. accept it.
and i vaguely remember that there was once, i told u, someone asked me whether i see myself marrying u, i said i don't know. and u got disappointed because u actually see us getting married. i said i don't know about the future.
u gave me too much freedom to the point that u don't control anything at all. maybe u loved me and trusted me so much and believed that i'll take care of myself, by myself. but i don't want this kind of relationship. i want to feel protected. i want to know that someone cares.
like i've told u, my friends don't even find the breakup shocking. we really took a different approach to this relationship and i'm sorry to see that this is the outcome to this very difference.
(blogging about this is so difficult. i am trying very hard to sound composed and at the same time bring the message across. you know i never liked to broadcast too much of my feelings. really. i don't even know whether you'll see this because i haven't updated in soooo long.)
yes. i did leave u in the hope of finding someone else. i am not looking for someone to marry. i am just finding someone to spend the next part of my life together. whether this guy (or the next guy. or the next next guy.) will the guy 'forever', we will know in years to come. it really doesn't matter to me right now.
yes. i did have hao gan for him while leaving u.
but it was only hao gan. any likings were developed after the break up because i know that i didn't know him well in the past. don't we all have hao gans? don't we all know that if hao gans don't work out, things naturally don't work out?
during the past few months, i already asked u to give me more of yourself. i've always felt that u treated me the same as all your other friends. i asked for more affection, more reassurance, to make me feel like i'm in a relationship with u. but did u? u know what ur attitude was for that period of time. i don't wish to repeat myself to you over and over again. we do things differently and that's the biggest problem.
i don't feel the need to defend myself but i really dislike it when you continuously mention pple from 'my side'. i never even bother to say any part of my story.
i left the relationship because i do not see a future brewing, given both our characters. since months ago, i've already told friends that i want to leave the relationship because i don't really a future with you.
this is the truth. accept it.
and i vaguely remember that there was once, i told u, someone asked me whether i see myself marrying u, i said i don't know. and u got disappointed because u actually see us getting married. i said i don't know about the future.
u gave me too much freedom to the point that u don't control anything at all. maybe u loved me and trusted me so much and believed that i'll take care of myself, by myself. but i don't want this kind of relationship. i want to feel protected. i want to know that someone cares.
like i've told u, my friends don't even find the breakup shocking. we really took a different approach to this relationship and i'm sorry to see that this is the outcome to this very difference.
(blogging about this is so difficult. i am trying very hard to sound composed and at the same time bring the message across. you know i never liked to broadcast too much of my feelings. really. i don't even know whether you'll see this because i haven't updated in soooo long.)
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
